Ominous for old, amorous for young

a little while back i helped to organise a runaway wedding? it is a very happy and a sad thing. it's happy because two persons have decided to brave all odds and commit themselves to each other for life. deciding to get married is tough enough. deciding to get married when your parents are against it, predicting doom, and threatening to cut you off for life, can shake the nerves to the core.it's all very well seeing it in the movies when shah rukh decides to marry kajol, but the reality is shah rukh has gauri and kajol has ajay and they got lots of gifts and flowers at their actual wedding. it takes hearts on fire and nerves of steel for two twenty-year olds to go through with it. it's a sad thing because most of the temples, allowed by law to conduct such weddings are holes in the wall. in a never-ending stream committed- but-desperate couples get married in half-hour intervals. you wait outside on a broken pavement for your turn, surrounded by a throng of beggars just waiting for couples to emerge so they can demand baksheesh. it's a happy thing because there is no false pomp and ceremony, no roving videowallah, no nosy relatives, no long drawn-out ceremonies, no horses, no elephants, no baraat blocking traffic, no hypocritical guests who have just come to show their face. there may be only half a dozen people at your wedding but each one of them has come because they love you very much. it's a very real and stark sort of thing. bride and bridegroom are very nervous, holding on to each other's hand for dear life. like candles whose faith has to help them burn strong against any wind. it's a sad thing because there are no parents around to give their blessings. the prayers therefore have no pita-mata section. no grandfather or uncle section either. there's just a call for an elder brother kind of fellow for which i was called on. i couldn't follow the exact sanskrit, but i think that i gave away the bride, as well as the bridegroom, and have to ensure that they remain faithful to each other in return for which i get free meals once a week! it's a happy thing because it is perfectly legal. you sign a document saying: a) i am 21 years of age b) i have no other wives or husbands c) i am not being forced into this d) i am not an idiot or of unsound mind e) i have brought no jewelry from my family, and a few other suchlike clauses. it's a sad thing because all your wedding photographs look a little seedy and b movie type. a straggly desperate bunch of determined supporters standing in front of a wall with peeling paint. a bride and bridegroom smiling bravely but with uncertainty and nervousness brimming out of their eyes. it's a happy thing because a week later you can call the couple for a quiet dinner and instead let loose a surprise wedding party on them. my wife had lovingly decorated our sitting room with flowers, hired two wedding chairs and my son printed out a 'just married' poster on the computer. we opened champagne, took out a guitar and sang songs, and told them how much we loved them . by the end everyone had tears in their eyes. god bless both of you neel and punam. i hope your parents come around. the only thing i can say that unusual and tough as your wedding was, it was more accurate than most other weddings. because married life itself is also a happy sad thing. you only have yourselves and faith to see you through!